Firefly Woods – Vicky’s story
Dad's diagnosis
My name is Vicky. I live in Bath with my partner and three dogs. My dad Danny was a very fit 81 year old. He lived on his own and was very independent, playing golf three times a week and cleaning his windows up a ladder, which he was very proud about!
In late 2023 he was diagnosed with gallstones and had his gallbladder removed in March 2024 but things still weren’t right. When he started to become really unwell in late April, he was admitted to hospital in Bath. At first, they thought it might just be the after effects of his operation, so sent him home but he was readmitted a few days later. Eventually, after various conversations with consultants and tests, he was diagnosed with stage four stomach cancer.
The doctors said they couldn’t offer him any treatment. That was on 9 May 2024 just two weeks after first going into hospital. It was all extremely sudden, unexpected and a lot for us all to process.
Introduction to Dorothy House
We met Dorothy House just four days later, on the day that my dad decided he wanted to spend his last days at home, with me. They were immediately on the scene, firstly at the hospital, to talk to us about getting my dad home, what that meant and how it was going to happen. They did it so gently, it was amazing.
They explained that going home meant that he wouldn’t be on a drip anymore. but I thought, he can’t drink, he can’t eat, how is he going to live? They had to say to me, well, that’s the point. He’s not. They thought that he had one to two weeks to live. That was shocking for all of us.
Within 24 hours, Dorothy House had organised carers, nurses, and a hospital bed to be delivered to my house in the middle of nowhere. From the time my dad said, “I want to go home”, it was absolutely astonishing.
Dorothy House carers came in three times a day. They kept reassuring me, “It’s fine, don’t worry”. They were so helpful. My eyes were open to a world of care that I didn’t know existed.
Specialist support and coming into the Hospice
Our specialist nurse had the conversation with my dad privately, essentially telling him how he was going to die. He wanted to know what he was going to go through, what was going to happen. I didn’t have any experience of death, but they enabled us to talk about it freely and to see it as part of life.
The nurse came on Saturday morning, my dad was really unwell by that point and I was really stressed. She said, “I think it’s time to go into the Hospice’’. She spoke with my dad privately. Again, within three hours we were on our way. I didn’t do anything. I didn’t make any phone calls. I can honestly say that I was so happy he was there. So relieved. It meant that I got to sit with my dad and talk to him. They looked after not just him, but all of us as well. One of us always stayed overnight with him, even the dogs were able to visit. They would sit on my dad’s bed. I like to think that he knew that they were there and could feel them with him.
Dedicating a light on a Firefly in memory of Dad
My dad spent six days in the hospice. I was with him when he died. It was a very private moment. I felt very safe and cared for. We were privileged, because it was such a peaceful, serene, setting. I loved walking through the Firefly Woods in Winsley, seeing the Firefly lights. Just the sense of calm it would bring. I can’t stress enough how in those moments, there is no calm inside you. It’s pure panic, worry, sadness, fear. But it’s such a beautiful place. I was adamant that my dad, Danny, had to have a Firefly light.
