Coping with anniversaries, birthdays and special dates

Every child’s experience of grief will be different, and how they cope on special dates such as anniversaries and birthdays will also differ. Birthdays, ‘firsts’ and death anniversaries are all dates in the calendar which will evoke powerful memories and emotions for children and young people, and it is important to have conversations about how they can be kind to themselves on these dates. 

For young children, helping them put their feelings into words or revisiting a memory box might be helpful coping mechanisms. For teens and young adults, visiting the grave or memorial may be a favoured approach, or simply spending the day with family and friends. As time passes, these special dates can help children and young people to focus on happy memories they shared with the person who is no longer with you.