Death as a part of life – Emma’s story

Earlier this year, we launched our Together in Adversity campaign to help us meet the gap in funding caused by a £400,000 increase in National Insurance Tax and the recent 5% NHS pay rise. Thanks to the incredible generosity of our community, we were able to raise an incredible £1,000,000 over the course of the campaign. Our grateful thanks also go to Emma Lynham and her family, who supported our campaign with her story.

Emma was 49 when she was referred to Dorothy House. Living in a flat in Frome, she worked as a botanical illustrator, a career that she had only recently come to and discovered she loved. She found the experience of being absorbed in her work profound, connecting with something much, much bigger than herself.

Emma’s referral to Dorothy House 

When Emma was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer, she was immediately referred to Dorothy House’s care. When first told about the Hospice, she experienced conflicting feelings. 

“That it's where old people go to die. I think I had the idea of people looking very unhappy. But it's streets apart from that, it's a very lively place. It's very full of life and I think it's given me the ability to live, you know, not die with cancer. Live with cancer is a big difference. Even though my prognosis is quite short, it still gives me that opportunity to make the most of life with huge amounts of support behind me, and laughter and humour and everything else that you need to get through.” 

She began by taking part in our Creative Arts sessions, which she enjoyed as a creative outlet, and joined Coffee Connection to meet others in a similar situation. But as her health deteriorated, it was suggested that she stay at the Hospice for a period of respite, where she was offered a holistic treatment plan, including immersive virtual reality scuba diving experiences, gentle massages, reflexology, yoga, helping her to manage the pain she was experiencing and to manage her mental health. She also spent time with our Spiritual Lead, Dave:

“He has given me the space to make this journey and I think that's invaluable.” 

Emma was very grateful that her family were able to be heavily involved in her care. Her mother lives in Italy, and she was able to phone and speak to those caring for Emma if she had any concerns. Her sister lives in Australia, and when she came to visit Emma she experienced a warm welcome, while her brother who lives in the UK was able to spend time with her in our beautiful grounds.  

Emma felt that having Dorothy House staff supporting her, both at home and in the Hospice, allowed her family to just be her family, not her carers. They could enjoy their time together. 

“My family couldn’t have done it without Dorothy House.” 

Death as a part of life

Growing up in the country and spending much of her time drawing plants and observing nature meant that Emma understood death as a part of life.  

“I knew that it would happen to everyone, that everyone dies at some point. But that doesn't necessarily make it any less scary.” 

Emma decided that she no longer wanted to proceed with chemotherapy, and to just enjoy the time that she had left. She found that with the support of Dorothy House, she was able to understand what her journey would look like and that gave her the energy and knowledge to transform the experience into something that should be celebrated, rather than shied away from using euphemisms.   

“I realised that you spent your whole life looking for the evidence that you’re loved and that people care about you. And it seems so bizarre, but it's right at the very end, and you get that realization that there's so many people, strangers included, who are there for you.” 

Emma died at the Hospice not long after being admitted. She had just been taken out to the gardens to watch the sunrise for the last time.