Dorothy House is my Lifeline – Matt’s story

I’m currently going through treatment for a cancerous brain tumour. Unfortunately, I am incurable. Not long after my diagnosis I was in a bad place.

From the beginning I have had two big fears. One, the kids having to watch me go through this. Two, to die at home. I don’t want my wife to wake up and find me one morning. I don’t want my kids to come home from school one day. Find Dad on the couch because I’ve gone in the afternoon, on my own. I really couldn’t see past sitting on the couch, suffering, being in pain and just waiting for death. In a very short sentence, I was wondering if the rest of my life was worth living. I thought that I only had two choices. Let my illness take me over time, or try to speed up the inevitable. I didn’t see any other way. I could see the pain my suffering was causing the people I cared about.

Then I found a third way, a Dorothy House way

The oncology nurse at Great Western Hospital referred me to Dorothy House. Dorothy House has given me the ability to live my life. Not just to be alive, but to be me. Not just what’s left of me after my illness has consumed as much as it can. I’ve had a huge amount of support from Dorothy House, help with medications, end of life planning, help with mobility around the house. Regular counselling, which has been invaluable, helping me to process what is actually going on. Not long before my diagnosis I snapped my achilles. My chemotherapy affected the repairing of it, and I snapped it again. I couldn’t walk. Dorothy House helped to get a wheelchair, a walking frame, a ramp to my front door, a handrail. I know it sounds simple, but it’s been so important. Now I can get in my house, I can go upstairs, I can go to bed. They help with all the little things, but they are not little things, are they?

Symptom control 

I’ve had issues with my face, shingles went supersonic because of my treatment. The pain attacks in my face were excruciating. They would floor me wherever I was, the street, on the bus. I couldn’t leave the house for the fear of it. I had to take the pain medication with a syringe - trying to do that in agony on a floor wasn’t possible. I was stuck at home.

Then I had a week’s stay on the Inpatient Unit, to help get my medication right. My nurse switched me to a tablet medication for pain. Stick in my mouth, done. I could leave the house again, I had my independence back. I go out on my own now, go to town and get shopping in. I can even go down and see my family on the bus. I’m not permanently uncomfortable being awake anymore. Then there is the support for my wife, and when the time comes, for my kids. It’s a huge comfort to me knowing Dorothy House can support them after I am gone. We will be taking the kids to the new play park and nature trail at Winsley. To try to get them as comfortable as possible with Dorothy House. My hope is when I start to show signs of decline, I will go back to the Inpatient Unit.

Dorothy House, my lifeline

It’s so important that Dorothy House has funding to support those who need help. We are not versed in how this goes. We don’t know the rules. We’re just stumbling about. Dorothy House is just everything when you need it. My kids don’t have to watch me sit here and suffer now. I get to just enjoy the little moments with them. And they mean everything to me. For all of this help, for the support and the understanding, I would like to say my goodness, Dorothy House is amazing. The help I’ve had is the reason why I’m still here. Still going. My lifeline.

I believe we have a duty to keep Dorothy House going, the benefit is for everybody.

I still want to live. I want to carry on. I’m not ready to die yet. I will keep going for my wife and kids and Dorothy House has made it possible for me do that.